Family Guy Scrpit Part 2- post90- 10 to go!

INT. GRIFFIN'S LIVING RM. - AFTERNOON Peter and Meg sit watching the news. ANCHORMAN … the clown reportedly was not hurt by the blast, and he promises that no more deaths will occur at birthday parties in the future. And now back to reality… Lois enters the room, holding Stewie. STEWIE Curse you, mother! I was having a perfectly good dream about world domin… (realizes near-mistake, and looks around suspiciously, making sure no one caught it) … yams. Luckily, I’ll have a reward for you right about… (strains) … now. LOIS Oh, Stewie. Whew! You have a poopy. Time to get you changed. STEWIE Yes! Changed! Change me now, woman! Lois takes Stewie to table behind sofa, and changes him. Meg leaves the room. LOIS So what was wrong with Meg? PETER Oh, just a little misunderstanding. It’s all fixed now. LOIS Well, good. (finishes with Stewie) There you are, Stewie. Good as new. STEWIE (Walking around, testing diaper) It’s too itchy old woman! Lois walks into kitchen. STEWIE Where are you going? I demand you come back here at once and fix this! Why! … Well! … Darn. Lois returns. LOIS Just think, Stewie. One day, you’ll be able to go to school, meet new people, make friends, and learn some new things. STEWIE Friends? Why, why, friends? Who needs friends when you can have… (thinks for the right word) … minions! Yes… minions. (laughs to himself) INT. STEWIE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT Stewie sleeps in his crib. He sleeps restlessly, though. STEWIE (In sleep) Lois… Die… (jumps at scream, yet stays asleep) Minions! Dream Sequence begins… INT. SCHOOL – FOUR YEARS FROM PRESENT, DAY. Stewie walks into school building. Several men in black suits follow him. SECRET SERVICE # 1 Mr. Lord, thingy, sir! This area is safe for your highness. We shall assign agents to guard you. STEWIE Thank you, my good man. (man leans, and Stewie pets the man’s head) You may go on now. The men leave. Other students begin to walk up. BILLY My name’s Billy. What’s yours? STEWIE I am Stewie Griffin, emperor of all you can see… (waits for effect) and more. BILLY You mean, like, over to the swing set? STEWIE No you little… (sighs in frustration, then changes his tone to gentle) … yes, yes my good man. To the swing set, yes. BILLY Wow. MICHAEL My name’s Michael. Want to hear something fun? STEWIE Oh, yes. I do love fun. What is it? MICHAEL (singing) I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves; everybody’s nerves; everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes: I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves… STEWIE Shut up! Shut up, I say! Shut it you inconceivably redundant twerp! And what is this song of which you sing! Tell me! (he grabs Michael’s collar) A bell rings. STEWIE (letting go) What… What was that dreadful noise? BILLY That was the bell. We have to go to class now. INT. MRS. BILLIARD’S CLASSROOM – ONE MINUTE LATER Stewie sits in desk behind Billy and in front of Michael. Mrs. Billiard stands in front of the class, writing on the board. BILLY (repeating, over, and over) Oh no. Oh no. Oh no… MICHAEL (repeating, over, and over) Goody, Goody, Goody, Goody, Goody… STEWIE (to guard at door) Jordan, please get me Death. JORDAN Right. A few moments pass, and Jordan reappears. JORDAN Got him, sir. STEWIE Oh goody! (realizes mistake, blushes slightly, looks around, and changes tone) I mean, wonderful news, Jordan. (Gets up to leave) MRS. BILLIARD Now, Stewie. You can’t leave during class. Not even little emperors can skip their schooling. STEWIE Mrs. Billiard, charming old woman, may I inquire of you? MRS. BILLIARD Well, Stewie… I suppose. STEWIE Have you, or have you not, children? MRS. BILLIARD Why, yes. I do. Why do you want to know, Stewie. STEWIE Do you agree, or disagree, that you treat your children well? MRS. BILLIARD Agree. (slits eyes slightly) Why? STEWIE Very well, Mrs. Billiard. But did you, or did you not, force them to spend nine terrible, long, months in, for lack of better words, your tummy? MRS. BILLIARD Oh, why yes, Stewie. Every child goes there before entering the world. STEWIE (eyes widen) What? You mean… (disgust enters his voice) everyone actually forces children to be endlessly tortured for nine horrific months? What kind of barbaric race do we live in. (stands in awe for a moment, then realizes why he was up in the first place) Still, I must leave immediately. He exits. BILLY Wait… I was in my mommy’s tummy?