New EMAIL

okatoonlinebag@gmail.com

Dead Funny Makes The Move

Sara and the Dead Funny crew have moved on to Okatonline 2. You can catch them in their latest edition now in a special 'Celebrity edition'. http://intokato2.blogspot.com/2010/11/celebrity-dead-funny.html

News Beat #3

THIS FROM THE BBC (bbc.co.uk) LATEST ON KOREA:

South Korea is to strengthen its military force on five islands close to North Korea, amid tensions over a clash that left four people dead.

It will also review military policy on the use of force, amid concerns it had become "rather passive".

North Korean shelling of a South Korean island on Tuesday killed two civilians and two marines, and prompted an increase in regional tension.

Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao has urged both to exercise "utmost restraint".

North Korea, meanwhile, has threatened further military action if South Korea continues on what it called a "path of military provocation", the North's official KCNA news agency reported.

Pyongyang also blamed the new level of hostilities on the United States - saying the US helped draw up the "illegal" western maritime border between the two Koreas.

Troop increase

The clash two days ago was one of the worst incidents between the two Koreas, who remain technically at war following the 1950-53 Korean War.
SPORT:
Burger King NZ Breakers in strong lead over Gold Coast at North Shore Event Centre.
Australia going strong against England in the Ashes.
All Blacks to wear BLACK ARM BAND against Wales. A moment silence will also be held before the match. A moment silence was also held at the ashes.
Weather:
http://tvnz.co.nz/weather-forecast
What's on?
TVONE: Jo Frost, Boys And Girls Alone, ONE News Tonight.
TV2: The Vampire Diaries, The Mentalist.
TV3: CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE.
The weird story: Mc Donald's in Great Britain now offers degrees.
Talking Point on BBC Radio 1's Chris Moyels Show and Dev: Snow is falling.

News Beat

North Korea:
American President Barack Obama told America TV's ABC Network News that North Korea is a serious threat. He also states in the interview '' A serious and ongoing thereat that needs to be dealt

with''. Obama says The South is an important ally.

Pike River:
It is understood the 29 miners that went missing during the explosion on Friday are dead. This was confirmed earlier today. For more we advise tvnz.co.nz.

News Beat- BREAKING NEWS

THIS FROM THE BBC (www.bbc.co.uk)
South Korea says it has returned fire after North Korea fired around 200 artillery shells at one of its border islands, reportedly killing one marine.

The South's military was placed on its highest non-wartime alert after the shells landed on Yeonpyeong island.

North Korea has not yet commented on the incident, in which three marines and two civilians were also injured.

Correspondents say this is one of the most serious since the Korean War ended without a peace treaty in 1953.

There have been occasional cross-border clashes since, but the latest incident comes at a time of rising regional tension.

North Korea's reclusive leader Kim Jong-il is believed to be ill and trying to engineer the succession of his youngest son. And on Saturday, North Korea showed off what it claimed was a new uranium enrichment facility - potentially giving it a second route to a nuclear weapon.

The move prompted the US special representative for North Korea, Stephen Bosworth, to rule out the resumption of six-party talks on resolving the nuclear issue.

South Korean presidential spokesman Kim Hee-jung also said it was investigating a possible link between the artillery attack and recent maritime exercises near the western sea border earlier on Tuesday.

It also comes just over a month after North Korean leader Kim Jong-il's youngest son, Kim Jong-un, was appointed to senior political and military posts, fuelling speculation that he was being prepared to succeed him.

'Illegal firing'

A spokesman for South Korea's Joint Chiefs of Staff said North Korean artillery shells had started falling in the waters off the island of Yeonpyeong at 1434 (0534 GMT). Some landed directly on the island.
BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING N-
READ THE FULL DEVELOPING STORY AT THIS URL: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-11818005. LOOK UNDER 'ILLEGAL FIRING' TO READ THE UNCOVERED BY NEWS BEAT. UPDATE SOMETIME TOMORROW AND ON OUR FACEBOOK. THIS STORY IS STILL IN DEVELOPMENT. BUILDINGS ARE STILL ON FIRE AND ARE SPREADING OUT OF CONTROL. SOUTH KOREA HAVE MADE THREATS. THAT IS ALL WE KNOW AT THIS TIME ON THIS BREAKING NEWS. LATEST ON MINE DISASTER: 2nd ROBOT ARRIVES FROM PERTH.

OkatoOnline2

Introducing OkatoOnline 2. Heres a preview from the blog: Welcome to OkatOnline 2. The entertainment blog. With your favorites from OkatoOnline ONE like 'Dead Funny' and the promised 'Lag Lab'. OkatoOnline 2 is also the new home of 'Bill Guy' of V-THE BILL GUY STORY. Welcome to Okato's entertainment. LINK: http://intokato2.blogspot.com/.

Link

Heres a link to Okato's Alan (Waldo) Hartley's web page. It has all of his art:

http://www.tart.co.nz/Waldo/waldo.htm

Picture of the day:

This is of the Anglican Church next to the school.

Friday Comedy- Dead Funny.

Vancouver, BC, Canada, 11.37PM. Setting: stormy night at Canada TV6 where a meeting has just started.
TV6 Boss: Mr.D? What a fail. We need something fresh...
TV6 Diana: Osama?

Boss: No

TV6 Daniel: Fatty boom booms

Boss: No fatty

TV6 Sara: Dead people- Hhahahahah.
Boss: Perfect!

Sara: I was joking
Boss: Since you came up with it, off you go.
Setting: Small town out of Vancouver. Sara and her mic.
Using special Al Qaeda technology worth over $6,000,000 USA, Sara is able to set up a special network for the dead to be interviewed using a Al Qaeda membership netbook. It usually takes 2-6 hours, as the dead are quite often asleep. Meanwhile a India company called ISSTC (India Super Secret Techno Centre) is trying to keep the dead permanently awake (active without moving or being zombies) using the power of the sun and the energy of one cup of coffee made by a TV3 presenter. Also IEMSTC (Indian Even More Secret Techno Centre) is trying to make the dead more calm when in awake mode by playing a variety of John Lennon's greatest hits.

Sara waits in till she has a reading. By 5.09AM she has 1 dead person online:

Sara chats to her dead person by using a Facebook like chat. Heres how it went:
Sara: What sort of person were you during your lifetime?

Dead Man Jack: Fat. I ate McDonalds every day. I was 31 when I died. That was 20 years ago, my mum is still up that house you can see up that hill...
Sara looks up at the nearest hill to see a dark house with a little bit of light just lighting the farms below.
Dead Man Jack: That darkness you can see is my mum. She hasn't moved there since I died.
Sara: Whats it like being dead?
Dead Man Jack: It's OK I guess. No more heart attacks constantly. A hey hey hey.

Sara: Fat Albert?

Dead Man JACK: No JACK.

Sara: Oh yeah.

DMJ: Dumbo

Sara: Any down sides?

DMJ: Yeah it's kinda hot down here in my coffin. I awaiting my train to either Heaven, Hell or new life.
Sara: How long till you go?

DMJ: Well, there was a guy called Joe who was next to me for a while. He left 5 years ago to heaven. He'd been down there 50 years. So 50 years till I go.

Sara: Where is the train?

DMJ: If I look past my feet I can see a underground subway station. Thats where I last saw Joe.

Sara: A Underground station?
DMJ: You living people cant see it.

Sara: So how is being dead different than being one of the living.

DMJ: I cant feel. and I can see about 97% more than humans. I can also watch a video of my life on this mini screen down here.
Sara: How do you communicate at night?

DMJ: Well, when you've got people around you, like little Matthew who was 4 when he died, you can chat to them. Poor old Matthew is in a very sad position he only died last year. It's really hard living without your mummy. Sometimes I sing to him to make him better. But in other cases we have a small meeting hall for all the dead in this graveyard to attend, it's underground near the station. About 80 people of 90 in the graves attend. There's also Sunday Church for the Christians and a University for the young ones that have a desire for learning.
Sara: Thanks so much Jack.

DMJ: Thank you Sara. And look out for old MJ, he's most active at night.

125 Years of Naki Rugby

This year TRFU (Taranaki Rugby Football Union) celebrated 125 wonderful years of Rugby in Taranaki. Team TenderLink Taranaki finished 5th after 2 years in a row of finishing a unsettling 7th spot. The Taranaki season couldn't have began worse with a loss to Northland by 26-19. But the very next week the players made us all proud to be from Taranaki with their biggest win of the season thrashing a wounded Tasman 33-11.

So,so Taranaki's first game away from home. It had to against Waikato. A team that had beaten Taranaki in the dieing minutes for TWO years in a row; thats at home and away. With Brendan Lenard on the team it looked to be the Moo Loo men all the way. But that was not to be. Taranaki taking that one too: 33-23.

Things were looking up for the rest of the season. People were even suggesting a semi final for Taranaki. But you cant trust the Taranaki team just like you cant trust the Taranaki weather. So somewhat Taranaki appeared underdogs going into the battle with BOP at home. The game for most was as close as two sisters in their 50's. But Taranaki took that one as well 24-15.

Things were looking fantastic for Taranaki they won against Otago 25-15. But a loss to the Aucks by 27-13 made it look as if normal transmission had arrived.

Next game results:
28-19 WON V Counties
125th birthday bashing over the Sonny team 31-20

32-24 LOSS V Hawke's bay
23-6 WON V Southland

30-16 WON V Manawatu
29-15 LOSS V Wellington
49-47 WON V Harbour

Okato's picture of the day

You can find anything on Google. Just by searching 'Okato' I can find Okato's picture of the day. This home according to our reporter in Okato; Sandra, this is the Coastal Taranaki School Art Teachers home or CTSATH. About a 30 second walk from the OTCC (Okato Tennis Club Courts).

This picture was taken on a beautiful Taranaki day. This home rather suits a art teacher.

Friday Night Comedy

Next Friday locally made comedies 'Dead Funny' and 'Lag Lab' star from 7.30 onward.

Love News?

Heres a few good news websites available in New Zealand:
www.stuff.co.nz
www.tvnz.co.nz
www.scoop.co.nz
www.bbc.co.uk
http://www.radionz.co.nz/news

www.newstalkzb.co.nz
SPORT:
http://tvnz.co.nz/sport-news

www.radiosport.co.nz
http://msn.foxsports.com/
TAB and TIPPING
http://www.tab.co.nz/
http://tvnz.co.nz/sport-tipping
WEATHER
http://www.metservice.com/national/index
MEDIA
dannews.co.nz
www.throng.co.nz
MEDIA AU
www.throng.co.au
WHATS ON
www.tvnz.co.nz/tv
HOW TO GET TO THESE WEB PAGES
If the URL has a a link (the colour of the letters will be amber) simply click on the URL.
If the URL doe not have a link, copy and paste it into your http.
www.tvnz.co.nz/tv

MediaWatch

Time for a bit of MediaWatch now. From dannews.co.nz:

TVNZ today announces its New Season 2011 line up for TV ONE and TV2 which combines the very best in local shows with the biggest international blockbuster series, consolidating its position as market leader.

General Manager of Programming Jane Wilson says, “I am delighted to announce a raft of new local series celebrating what it means to be a New Zealander, plus bringing the very best in international television to our viewers. This year we continue to lead the way in platform diversification, allowing viewers to enjoy our content when and where they want it.”

TV ONE introduces world-renowned Kiwi chef Josh Emett to the second series of hit show MasterChef New Zealand, and announces MasterChef Masterclasses, a new series which gives viewers an opportunity to see the MasterChef judge’s expert knowledge in action.

Currently in development is a brand new TV ONE drama about love and friendship, Nothing Trivial, from the creators of Go Girls. New factual series Do Or Die confronts Kiwis with bad health habits and challenges them to lose weight andPoliticians At Work sees New Zealand politicians take on jobs with in their areas of responsibility.

Nigel Latta tackles the world of the troublesome teenager in new series, The Politically Incorrect Guide To Teenagersand new local series Family Feud examines a wide range of family problems affecting modern day Kiwi families. Then,The World’s Strictest Parents sees children experience life living under the roof of some of the strictest families in the world.

Following the award-winning success of South, Marcus Lush again adventures into rural New Zealand visiting the top half of the country in North and more celebrities go native in Intrepid Journeys. Returning favourites include The Investigator, Beyond The Darklands, Fair Go, Animal Rescue, Coastwatch, Piha Rescue and the Real Life and Real Crime strands.

TV ONE showcases new international series, including HBO’s Enlightened starring Laura Dern and Desperate Housewives’ Dana Delany stars as a neurosurgeon forced to turn medical examiner in Body Of Proof. Matt Le Blanc joins forces with the BBC and the writer’s of Friends to star in Episodes and there’s a new legal drama starring Kathy Bates, Harry’s Law. And from the makers of McLeod’s Daughter’s comes Offspring, while the creators of Packed To The Rafter’s present a new drama about friendship, Winners And Losers. Plus new Australian family drama, Tangle and the highly anticipated spin-off series of Criminal Minds, Suspect Behaviour starring Forest Whittaker.

Popular returning series include family favourite Packed To The Rafters, Undercover Boss, Criminal Minds, Castle and a new series of Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution.

TV2 launches with blockbuster international hit shows, Two And A Half Men, The Big Bang Theory, The Mentalist, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, Cougar Town, Brothers & Sisters, The Middle, Hell’s Kitchen, American Idol, The Vampire Diaries, Scrubs, The Amazing Race plus the biggest movie franchises includingTwilight, Terminator and Harry Potter.

New international series include Shit My Dad Says starring William Shatner, Off The Map starring New Zealander Martin Henderson, the highly anticipated The Walking Dead, No Ordinary Family about a family who go from ordinary to extraordinary after a plane crash, and America’s latest comedy hit from the maker’s of Two And A Half Men, Mike & Molly.

There’s Stephen King’s new supernatural series, Haven; hit US series, Hot In Cleveland; Better Together from the creator of Friends; new comedy Happy Endings; and new action drama in Chase.

TV2 local shows include another feature-length episode of Shortland Street, ratings hit Go Girls returns and popular factual reality winners Neighbours At War, Police Ten 7, the award-winning Rescue One, and Motorway Patrol. 20/20also returns with more in-depth investigations.

- TVNZ

New Term

Welcome back to a new term of OKATONLINE. BIG new changes coming soon so stand by. Well I was going to upload a video of our fireworks display but it failed. Ta-ta for now.

100 POST.

This is officially our 100th post!! We haven't got much to say but let's get started. As you may already know there are new comedys coming to Friday nights, these are: Lag Lab and Sha-Na. We will put some ads up on our wall in the near future. The Blog will be under going some minor changes so bare with us!

Taranaki play Waikato this afternoon in Hamilton, so make sure wherever you are you can support Taranaki. That's about it enjoy your Sunday afternoon.

BUILD UP TO 100TH POST. POST 99.

The very next post on OKATONLINE will be the 100th post ever. We have so enjoyed blogging and we have no reason to stop now. When OKATONLINE first began barley anyone read our entry's. but now it is more popular. OKATONLINE's original idea was to supply news specifically towards Okato, now we look entertain people all over the world and put Okato on the map.

Tomorrow morning the 100th post will be posted, we will not post too many posts after the 100th post so everyone can have a good look.

First up tonight: Okato TV Day from: www.throng.co.nz - Thursday FAVS :

Most watched

1. One News: 615,590 (TV ONE, 6:00pm - 7:00pm)
2. Motorway Patrol: 591,400 (TV2, 8:00pm - 8:30pm)
3. Shortland Street: 588,930 (TV2, 7:00pm - 7:30pm)
4. Police Ten 7: 559,600 (TV2, 7:30pm - 8:00pm)
5. Coronation Street: 509,240 (TV ONE, 7:30pm - 8:30pm)

Most watched evening (7.30pm - 11pm)

1. Motorway Patrol: 591,400 (TV2, 8:00pm - 8:30pm)
2. Police Ten 7: 559,600 (TV2, 7:30pm - 8:00pm)
3. Coronation Street: 509,240 (TV ONE, 7:30pm - 8:30pm)
4. This is Not My Life: 339,990 (TV ONE, 8:30pm - 9:30pm)
5. The Vampire Diaries: 281,900 (TV2, 8:30pm - 9:30pm)

Most watched daytime (9am - 5pm)

1. ONE News Midday: 119,210 (TV ONE, 12:00pm - 12:30pm)
2. ONE News 4:30: 116,460 (TV ONE, 4:30pm - 4:55pm)
3. Emmerdale: 111,670 (TV ONE, 12:30pm - 1:30pm)
4. Dickinson's Real Deal: 96,570 (TV ONE, 2:00pm - 3:00pm)
5. The Erin Simpson Show: 94,800 (TV2, 4:35pm - 5:00pm)

Most watched on TV ONE

1. One News: 615,590 (6:00pm - 7:00pm)
2. Coronation Street: 509,240 (7:30pm - 8:30pm)
3. Close Up: 490,590 (7:00pm - 7:30pm)
4. This is Not My Life: 339,990 (8:30pm - 9:30pm)
5. Breakfast: 235,130 (7:00am - 8:00am)

Most watched on TV2

1. Motorway Patrol: 591,400 (8:00pm - 8:30pm)
2. Shortland Street: 588,930 (7:00pm - 7:30pm)
3. Police Ten 7: 559,600 (7:30pm - 8:00pm)
4. The Vampire Diaries: 281,900 (8:30pm - 9:30pm)
5. 20/20: 274,660 (9:30pm - 10:35pm)

Most watched on TV3

1. 3 News: 344,300 (6:00pm - 7:00pm)
2. Me Myself & Irene: 270,750 (8:30pm - 10:50pm)
3. Campbell Live: 253,080 (7:00pm - 7:30pm)
4. Home and Away: 213,090 (5:30pm - 6:00pm)
5. Grand Designs: 170,530 (7:30pm - 8:30pm)

Most watched on C4

1. Family Guy: 81,150 (7:00pm - 7:30pm)
2. American Dad: 79,440 (8:30pm - 9:00pm)
3. South Park: 72,010 (9:00pm - 9:35pm)
4. The Cleveland Show: 66,360 (8:00pm - 8:30pm)
5. Futurama: 64,440 (7:30pm - 8:00pm)

Most watched on PRIME

1. Prime News: 172,250 (5:30pm - 6:00pm)
2. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire: 133,720 (6:00pm - 7:00pm)
3. Deal Or No Deal: 107,700 (5:00pm - 5:30pm)
4. Survivors: 94,190 (8:30pm - 9:40pm)
5. QI: 66,720 (9:40pm - 10:15pm)

Most watched on Maori TV

1. Hyundai Code: 68,200 (8:30pm - 9:30pm)
2. Hunting Aotearoa: 48,470 (9:30pm - 10:00pm)

Most watched on the BOX

1. NCIS: 56,520 (7:30pm - 8:30pm)
2. CSI:NY: 39,970 (9:30pm - 10:30pm)
3. Law & Order Criminal Intent: 38,850 (8:30pm - 9:30pm)

Most watched on SKY Sport 1

1. ITM Cup Rugby: 82,490 (7:30pm - 9:15pm)
2. ITM Cup Rugby Post Game: 47,820 (9:15pm - 9:25pm)

Biggest increases (previous week)

1. Motorway Patrol: TV2 591400 - up from 509460 (8:00pm - 8:30pm)
2. Prime News: PRIME 172250 - up from 106420 (5:30pm - 6:00pm)
3. Police Ten 7: TV2 559600 - up from 507530 (7:30pm - 8:00pm)
4. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire: PRIME 133720 - up from 82410 (6:00pm - 7:00pm)
5. My Wife and Kids: TV2 220200 - up from 170560 (6:30pm - 7:00pm)

Biggest decreases (previous week)

1. One News: TV ONE 615590 - down from 675820 (6:00pm - 7:00pm)
2. This is Not My Life: TV ONE 339990 - down from 380130 (8:30pm - 9:30pm)
3. Grand Designs: TV3 170530 - down from 207190 (7:30pm - 8:30pm)
4. Breakfast: TV ONE 235130 - down from 269360 (7:00am - 8:00am)
5. F.R.I.E.N.D.S: TV2 82460 - down from 111120 (5:30pm - 6:00pm)

New

1. Me Myself & Irene: TV3 (8:30pm - 10:50pm)
2. Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares: TV ONE (9:30pm - 10:30pm)
3. Flight of the Conchords: PRIME (10:20pm - 10:50pm)

Channel Share (All Day)

• TV ONE: 29.4%
• SKY Network: 25.1%
• TV2: 19.3%
• TV3: 14.9%
• PRIME: 4.8%
• C4: 2.7%
• Other TV Channels: 2.5%
• Maori TV: 1%
  
  

Are you in to NPC Rugby? Go no further than here. We love NPC and we update it every night. Tonight it was the Canterbury v North Harbor clash, here is a summary from TVNZ.co.nz:

Canterbury flexed their national provincial championship rugby muscles in scoring seven tries to beat North Harbour 44-22 in Christchurch tonight.

The two-time defending champions struggled to find their rhythm through the first two rounds but moved up a gear in a lop-sided match which finished with a scoreline that flattered the visitors.

North Harbour scored the first try and crossed twice late in the piece but between times played second fiddle against a Canterbury side who enjoyed a decent edge at the set piece and the more dangerous running backs.

One of them was centre Robbie Fruean, who snared a halfback, including Canterbury's bonus point try with more than half an hour remaining.

Fruean and highly-skilled lock Isaac Ross were the pick of a Canterbury side operating at a level above Harbour, who lacked cohesion and ambition for long periods.

The visitors scored the opening try through first five-eighth Michael Harris and crossed late via centre Jack Tarrant and wing Josh York but then proceeded to concede two tries in the last three minutes -- to Fruean and Ross.

Both teams were coming off one-point wins but Canterbury, who started the round in fourth place enjoyed a far more effective kicking game than 11th-placed Harbour, based around the extra possession won by their pack.

Advertisement

Harbour first five-eighth Michael Harris had his team 10-3 after 12 minutes courtesy of a try, conversion and penalty.

However, the hosts warmed to their task and the tries followed through winger Sam Monaghan, flanker Matt Todd and Fruean before halftime -- many created by the incisive playmaking of Colin Slade and Stephen Brett.

Young winger Telusa Veainu continued the rout after the break before the late glut of tries were sparked by Fruean.
---------------------------------------------------------
BLACKCAPS Zone: BLACKCAPS have won the toss and are batting first.
Phoenix Zone: Disappointing. http://tvnz.co.nz/football-news/late-goal-sinks-hopes-phoenix-win-3700552
Well the next time we type we will be typing our 100th post! Till then; Goodbye!

Post 98- Family Guy Script FINALE

INT. MRS. BILLIARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY Same as before MRS. BILLIARD Take your seat, Stewie. Good. Now, class. Today we are going to learn several qualities (says ‘qualities’ slow) that good boys and girls should have. She plays movie. Shows two children: Joe and Jane. They are playing with blocks JOE Give me the red block. JANE No. Give me the blue block. JOE No. Give me the red block. JANE No. Give me the blue block. JOE No. Give me the red block. Jane throws punch, and Joe pushes Jane onto the ground. Both start crying hysterically. Mrs. Billiard turns off the T.V. MRS. BILLIARD See children? Sharing is one of the most important (slow) ‘qualities’ that a person can have. Stewie claps twice. MRS. BILLIARD Why, Stewie (flattered). You don’t have to applaud me. STEWIE Oh no, Mrs. Billiard. It’s not you. It’s just that I hooked up my friend, Death, to a clapper. Death enters. DEATH You rang, sir? (annoyed) STEWIE I just love that. (he points to Mrs. Billiard) You know what to do, Death, my loyal servant. (he smiles) That sounds so good! Death grabs Mrs. Billiard and drags her out of the room. She screams the entire way. STEWIE Oh, for the love of me, get her to shut up. (gestures to Jordan for him to leave) Follow them! JORDAN Right away, sir. (exits) Stewie exits his desk, and walks to the front of the room, climbing on top of the teacher’s desk. STEWIE Now, classmates. Since our teacher shall be going now, I shall take over the class for a few moments. We shall begin with a few simple items. Repeat after me: “Stewie Griffin is my emperor, and I shall follow him forever. Even to the death, which will positively happen at the enjoyment and amusement of my leader, Stewie Griffin, the bravest leader in all school!” BILLY (demanding) What did you do with Mrs. Billiard? STEWIE Don’t worry, my dear friend. She is being (maniacal look enters his eyes) well taken care of. INT. BASEMENT OF SCHOOL – DAY Mrs. Billiard sits in chair, strapped in. Death sits next to her with a spoon full of baby food, forcing it in her mouth. Jordan holds a tape recorder which plays with an obviously edited together message from Stewie. STEWIE (ON TAPE) (madly) How do you like it, now? (break) Bwaha! (break) Enjoy! (break) Having fun yet! (repeats) INT. MRS. BILLIARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY Same as before. STEWIE Let’s see what Mrs. Billiard would have had us watch to numb us of intelligence. Stewie plays movie. Joe and Jane playing near pool. JOE This is fun! Jane pushes Joe into pool. Jane laughs. JOE I’m drowning! I’m drowning! Movie shows Joe lying on concrete by pool. His tongue hangs out. Jane is put in jail car. Stewie turns off movie. STEWIE What kind of mind-boggling violence is this? I love it! Stewie brings out a notepad and a pencil. Takes notes from movie. STEWIE (to self) Memo to self: Find the actress who plays Jane. I can use her… (searches for word) talents. (to class) Now, class, let us take a look at the Stewie Griffin Dictionary for All Things Imperial… Principal enters room. PRINCIPAL Where is Mrs. … oh… Stewie. My Lord. (kneels. Stewie pats him) STEWIE Get up. Get up. PRINCIPAL You’re too kind sir. Too kind. STEWIE I know. PRINCIPAL Where is that wretched woman? STEWIE She ran out of the room, my good scholastic leader. BILLY No she didn’t. You… Stewie shoots Billy with his laser gun, hiding it behind his back from the principal. PRINCIPAL Well, I’ll find her later. But what shall we do now? We can’t just leave all of you children here. STEWIE How about we go get a good, stiff drink at my personal bar? PRINCIPAL Why, thank you, my Lord. I would be honored. STEWIE Yes, and then we can talk about this teacher situation. I was thinking about having my own class. PRINCIPAL Good idea, Oh lord. STEWIE I know. The Principal’s face suddenly turns into Lois’s. LOIS Stewie? Stewie? STEWIE No! She’s found me! He shoots the principal with the ray gun, and begins running down the hall. The roof comes off the school, and Lois, a giant, grabs Stewie. She starts to walk away. STEWIE No! No! No! In the aftermath, we see Chris standing, staring after his mother. CHRIS (nervously) Mom? INT. STEWIE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT Stewie sleeps in crib. Lois stands next to him, trying to grab him, but he wiggles out of her grip. LOIS Wake up, Stewie STEWIE No! No! No! (punches at air) No! (wakes, and screams at sight of mother, then sighs, hyperventilating) Mother! I just had the worst dream! Hold me! (hugs mother, then suddenly stops) Wait… what am I doing? Filthy brainwashing! (Lois leaves) I’ll get you for this mother! INT. GRIFFIN’S LIVING ROOM – DAY Meg comes down the stairs. Stewie, Chris, and Peter sit watching Sesame Street. PETER What is this crap? (turns channel to violence) So how’d you sleep, Meg? MEG Alright, I guess. (speaks fast) I dreamed that everyone from school was being lowered into the pit of Hell and they were all pleading for their lives, but I wouldn’t help them… EXT. HELL – UNKNOWN A cage is being lowered being lowered into the pit of Hell, a.k.a. a small pool of fire. Many faces peer out of it toward Meg, standing nearby, looking onward with ecstatic anticipation. EVERYONE Help us, Meg! Please! MEG Sorry, Jessica. I don’t help freaks like you. She sits, and watches as fire engulfs the cage. INT. GRIFFIN’S LIVING ROOM – DAY Same as before. PETER Oh… OK. Well… That’s just really weird, there Meg. What about you, Stewie? STEWIE (nervously) What? Oh? Yes… I dreamed of… um… peace. Yes, peace. (laughs nervously) PETER That’s nice. We get a close up of Stewie’s face. He slowly grins maniacally. EXT. OUTSIDE SCHOOL – DAY – (TAG SCENE) Meg walks onto school property, but the entire school is empty. MEG Where is everyone? INT. HELL – TIME IRRELEVANT Everyone from Meg’s sits in Hell. One particular person is conversing with Satan. PERSON So? SATAN What? PERSON So? SATAN What? PERSON So? SATAN Oh, in the name of… Die! Satan lowers his pitchfork, aiming it at the person, and shoots flames at him. The person burns. PERSON Ah!! Ah!!! Ah!! Hey, this is kinda fun! Ladida! Ladida! End