SCREENPLAY
FAMILY GUY
“A IS FOR APPLE, D IS FOR DOMINATION”
By Patrick Edwards
INT. GRIFFIN’S LIVING ROOM – AFTERNOON
Peter is sitting on sofa, watching TV. Meg runs into the house crying, and holding her backpack. She drops it on the floor, and continues to run for the stairs.
PETER
Woh woh woh there, Meg. What’s wrong?
Meg stops and turns toward her father, she bursts into tears, and continues up the stairs. Lois walks in the door, closes it, and takes her things into the kitchen. She reenters the room.
PETER
Lois, what’s wrong with Meg? She seems… more depressed and … ah, stuff.
Lois walks back toward Peter, and stands by the couch as she talks.
LOIS
I don’t know. She’s been acting like that since picked her up from school. You might need to go talk with her.
PETER
Oh no, Lois. I ain’t doin’ that.
LOIS
Well, (pauses) is Stewie up yet?
PETER
Wait a minute… Stewie was here?
A moment of silence follows. Lois stares at Peter with annoyance.
PETER
(trying to cover up) Oh yeah. Um… he isn’t awake yet. Um…
Lois, after giving Peter a fierce look, begins to walk up the stairs.
LOIS
And you will talk with your daughter.
PETER
(Shaking his head) Uh uh, Lois. I ain’t doin’ it. And nothing you can say or do will make me.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE MEG’S ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Peter knocks on door.
PETER
Meg? Can I come in?
MEG
(from inside, through tears) Whatever.
INT. MEG’S ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Meg sits on bed, bawling. The walls of the room are covered with pictures of four people. Peter steps in and walks to the bed, attempting to comfort his daughter.
PETER
Who… Where’d these pictures come from. This place was clean last time I came up here, which was… (thinks hard) I’ll have to get back to you on that. Anyways, what’s wrong?
MEG
(dries tears as best as she can) Today, in school, Burnt Skulls came to sign autographs…
EXT. OUTSIDE SCHOOL – Earlier that day…
Bell rings, and students run out of school. A table is set up outside of doors, and four men sit in chairs. A pile of pictures sits next to each person, awaiting signing. We see Meg exit the school, and quickly enter a line for the first person. The line quickly dissipates, until Meg is next.
BANDMEMBER # 1
Next…
MEG
Wow! I can’t believe I finally get to meet you, Worthog? Can you sign mine to Meg Griffin?
BANDMEMBER # 1
You want an autograph? (Meg nods) (to Band member # 2) Hey Toad! This young lady wants an autograph!
BANDMEMBER # 2
(laughs) Look at those glasses! We don’t give autographs to freaks like you, sweetheart.
CHEARLEADER # 1
Yeah, Griffin. Like, they don’t give autographs to nerds like you. (to Band member # 1) Can I, like, have your autograph, Worthog?
BANDMEMBER # 1
Sure, sweetheart! (begins writing)
Meg runs off toward Lois’s car, which is parallel parked by the school. The car quickly speeds away, leaving a small cloud of dust. In its aftermath, Chris walks onto the sidewalk, and stares down the road at the car.
CHRIS
(nervously) Mom?
INT. MEG’S ROOM – AFTERNOON
Same as before.
PETER
So they wouldn’t give you an autograph, huh?
MEG
No, they wouldn’t.
PETER
Who in the world are these people anyways?
MEG
A local band.
PETER
How local?
MEG
From town.
PETER
How come I haven’t heard about them before, Meg?
MEG
They started playing a week ago.
PETER
Well, I still think I should’ve heard of ‘em. Where was their last concert?
MEG
In a cellar in the Town Hall… 70 feet below ground.
PETER
(After a pause) Then why do you even like them?
MEG
Because they’re cool.
PETER
Really? And if the school went and jumped off a bridge because it was cool, would you do it? (Meg nods) …Bad example. But that band is not worth worrying over. It’s just several teenage guys who believe they can sing, but really can’t. They’ll be gone in no time.
MEG
Yeah, I guess your right. They really are kinda stupid anyways. (her face slowly changes to a neutral position)
PETER
(leans in close to Meg) Want to help me tear this stuff down?
MEG
Sure.
PETER
Yeah. Those people will get what’s coming to them. You’ll see.
